I've been constantly searching for perfection,
since before even my pre-adolescence.
I could count the hours down to the very last seconds,
that I have waited for my life to be completed by another's life essence.
I thought I found it once.
The feeling was so fleeting and so precious.
Thought I'd found the love of a queen.
I was just a humble peasant.
But I had misinterpreted the signals,
and ended up fucking up the message.
The gift I'd found is really just a curse,
that has disguised itself as a blessing.
Now head over heels with a curse,
I had but one confession.
I promised that I'd love the curse forever,
a statement not meant as misdirection.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Nothingness
There is a silence the echoes in the howl of the wind.
A silence that proves that even nothingness can be heard.
Echo loud and then, grow silent again.
There is no pride or emotion with the howl of the wind.
Is it not a problem to feel the same within?
To only be proud for pride's sake?
To feign emotion to placate?
What if the mask worn is to hide nothing at all?
What if the body has become an empty shell devoid of a soul?
A heart with no love in it pumps blood for no reason at all.
A body receives nourishment with no purpose; it lives for no life at all.
A mind seeks answers with no reason to question.
Nothingness, so bleak and yet so serene.
Inner peace lacking happiness is just another means of defeat.
I search for euphoria to begin an existence of bliss.
Euphoria, too powerful an emotion to permanently exist.
A silence that proves that even nothingness can be heard.
Echo loud and then, grow silent again.
There is no pride or emotion with the howl of the wind.
Is it not a problem to feel the same within?
To only be proud for pride's sake?
To feign emotion to placate?
What if the mask worn is to hide nothing at all?
What if the body has become an empty shell devoid of a soul?
A heart with no love in it pumps blood for no reason at all.
A body receives nourishment with no purpose; it lives for no life at all.
A mind seeks answers with no reason to question.
Nothingness, so bleak and yet so serene.
Inner peace lacking happiness is just another means of defeat.
I search for euphoria to begin an existence of bliss.
Euphoria, too powerful an emotion to permanently exist.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Why?
I want to captivate the minds of people I will never know.
To help them gaze into the eyes of a person whose face they will never see.
I want to expose my soul with a written window.
To touch another person in a way that distance or time cannot affect.
I want to release all that is bottled up in me in a way that is eloquent.
To ignite a flame that can never be extinguished in the hearts of all who may feel my presence without ever being in my vicinity.
To set free those who believe that they already are.
And so, I write.
To help them gaze into the eyes of a person whose face they will never see.
I want to expose my soul with a written window.
To touch another person in a way that distance or time cannot affect.
I want to release all that is bottled up in me in a way that is eloquent.
To ignite a flame that can never be extinguished in the hearts of all who may feel my presence without ever being in my vicinity.
To set free those who believe that they already are.
And so, I write.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Moonlit Sail
A high chick lost in blurs of images,
tripping off the weed I'm giving her.
Emotions viewed as pesky menaces,
smoking to view life as if it's innocent.
Dreaming dreams I hope to have but can never live.
She hopes to make pain disappear without the appearance of tears.
Euphoria, we reach out to with highs we hope this feeling is,
this life entices a need for freedom of minds.
Changing with the tides as if the moon is our puppeteer,
flowing over the waves while watching the puppeteer in crescent form.
The fear of trust forgotten in autumn midnight air,
let not the moonlight expose our secret love affair.
All these things forgotten in this night.
Our high makes it okay that we are pulled by strings.
As our high intensifies the pleasure our bodies already give each other,
We know what we have is not something a thunderstorm could weather.
tripping off the weed I'm giving her.
Emotions viewed as pesky menaces,
smoking to view life as if it's innocent.
Dreaming dreams I hope to have but can never live.
She hopes to make pain disappear without the appearance of tears.
Euphoria, we reach out to with highs we hope this feeling is,
this life entices a need for freedom of minds.
Changing with the tides as if the moon is our puppeteer,
flowing over the waves while watching the puppeteer in crescent form.
The fear of trust forgotten in autumn midnight air,
let not the moonlight expose our secret love affair.
All these things forgotten in this night.
Our high makes it okay that we are pulled by strings.
As our high intensifies the pleasure our bodies already give each other,
We know what we have is not something a thunderstorm could weather.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Little Death
Let me kill you, just a lil bit.
I promise it won't hurt at all, it'll feel magnificent.
Short gasp. Inhale, exhale. I can see you're getting close.
You seem to be enjoying dying. I'll give you death in a healthy dose.
I won't stop til I kill you just a lil bit.
Extinguish your life's flame with gentle licks.
Don't die just yet, let me have my fun with you.
When I lick I love how your body responds on cue.
Writhe in pleasure, your free to act as you feel.
Grab at my head, wiggle your hips, show me the you that's real.
As you die reveal your true self.
Grow louder, scream out in ecstasy, in pleasure as you shout.
Let me kill you, I'll bring you back with life anew.
Let me kill you, let me see and feel the real you.
Lean your head back and let go.
But as you die, I just want you to know.
That I could love you,
the true you.
When your flame reignites,
know I'll be here to make everything alright.
I've tasted you, your essence, the purity in your soul.
And as you die from stimulation's toll.
Know that I love you.
I promise it won't hurt at all, it'll feel magnificent.
Short gasp. Inhale, exhale. I can see you're getting close.
You seem to be enjoying dying. I'll give you death in a healthy dose.
I won't stop til I kill you just a lil bit.
Extinguish your life's flame with gentle licks.
Don't die just yet, let me have my fun with you.
When I lick I love how your body responds on cue.
Writhe in pleasure, your free to act as you feel.
Grab at my head, wiggle your hips, show me the you that's real.
As you die reveal your true self.
Grow louder, scream out in ecstasy, in pleasure as you shout.
Let me kill you, I'll bring you back with life anew.
Let me kill you, let me see and feel the real you.
Lean your head back and let go.
But as you die, I just want you to know.
That I could love you,
the true you.
When your flame reignites,
know I'll be here to make everything alright.
I've tasted you, your essence, the purity in your soul.
And as you die from stimulation's toll.
Know that I love you.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Madness
Your eyes are vacant. Or maybe hollow.
You walk into the kitchen and I begin to follow.
You speak of leaving, that it's time for you to go.
Reach in the drawer, pull out the knife.
Telling me everything will be alright, after you extinguish your life.
Stop baby please, stop trying to leave.
I need you to breathe, baby please.
Your my whole world, an existence without you I can't conceive.
Pleading to you mentally,
Hoping that you get my message telepathically.
Because my lips can no longer produce speech for me.
I can't speak but I can move forward to stop you.
Wrestle the knife from you, grab your body and never let go.
Look at me. Stop staring at the knife.
I can't take this. I won't ever let you go.
I love you too much. I'm just trying to let you know.
Are you even hearing me? Snap out of the trance.
Do you see what I see? Or just a lone knife across a small distance.
I cannot understand why you so strongly yearn for death.
I tried so hard to make you happy, I did my best.
I kissed you through your tears that night.
Tears of my own began to blur my sight.
I kissed you through your pain and hold you tight.
I feared if I let you go, you'd take your life.
I just needed to stop the madness.
I thought you were pleased when your body was ravaged.
I thought you needed a love that was beyond average.
I didn't see the extension cord until I let you go and you grabbed it.
Reacted too late to stop you from causing yourself bodily damage.
I just had to stop the madness.
I took the risk to bring you back.
Reach out my hand and gave your face a hard slap.
In an attempt to break your suicidal trance.
I just needed to stop the fucking madness.
Shock and fear shown through her eyes.
She just kept saying, "you hit me," as she cried.
There was no reason for my actions in her mind.
She moves away from me, as if she's seen me for the first time.
Shrinks away from the touch that is mine.
The same hands that kept her alive.
But this is the farthest thing from her mind.
Her mouth is set on repeat.
Her lips formed the words of her speech.
Her brain tried to understand desperately.
She just kept saying, "I can't believe you hit me."
But I needed you to live.
I just had to stop the madness.
I just had to stop the fucking madness.
You walk into the kitchen and I begin to follow.
You speak of leaving, that it's time for you to go.
Reach in the drawer, pull out the knife.
Telling me everything will be alright, after you extinguish your life.
Stop baby please, stop trying to leave.
I need you to breathe, baby please.
Your my whole world, an existence without you I can't conceive.
Pleading to you mentally,
Hoping that you get my message telepathically.
Because my lips can no longer produce speech for me.
I can't speak but I can move forward to stop you.
Wrestle the knife from you, grab your body and never let go.
Look at me. Stop staring at the knife.
I can't take this. I won't ever let you go.
I love you too much. I'm just trying to let you know.
Are you even hearing me? Snap out of the trance.
Do you see what I see? Or just a lone knife across a small distance.
I cannot understand why you so strongly yearn for death.
I tried so hard to make you happy, I did my best.
I kissed you through your tears that night.
Tears of my own began to blur my sight.
I kissed you through your pain and hold you tight.
I feared if I let you go, you'd take your life.
I just needed to stop the madness.
I thought you were pleased when your body was ravaged.
I thought you needed a love that was beyond average.
I didn't see the extension cord until I let you go and you grabbed it.
Reacted too late to stop you from causing yourself bodily damage.
I just had to stop the madness.
I took the risk to bring you back.
Reach out my hand and gave your face a hard slap.
In an attempt to break your suicidal trance.
I just needed to stop the fucking madness.
Shock and fear shown through her eyes.
She just kept saying, "you hit me," as she cried.
There was no reason for my actions in her mind.
She moves away from me, as if she's seen me for the first time.
Shrinks away from the touch that is mine.
The same hands that kept her alive.
But this is the farthest thing from her mind.
Her mouth is set on repeat.
Her lips formed the words of her speech.
Her brain tried to understand desperately.
She just kept saying, "I can't believe you hit me."
But I needed you to live.
I just had to stop the madness.
I just had to stop the fucking madness.
Broken Spirit
Can you feel the pain of a broken spirit?
Loudness of the voice suffering from anguish.
The screams of a vacant soul, does the universe hear it?
His heart trapped in the past, because he gave his all into something he hoped would last.
The agony of an emptiness haunts his brain.
He finds there's so much beauty in being distraught and insane.
Now life's changed, his once warm heart frozen over.
Life is now no longer bearable sober.
The urge arises to scream out to the sky.
But like always he holds it all inside.
Add that stress to his burden.
A burden that chips away at who he is as it hurts him.
To be high is to be free.
Just to escape the burden momentarily.
Loudness of the voice suffering from anguish.
The screams of a vacant soul, does the universe hear it?
His heart trapped in the past, because he gave his all into something he hoped would last.
The agony of an emptiness haunts his brain.
He finds there's so much beauty in being distraught and insane.
Now life's changed, his once warm heart frozen over.
Life is now no longer bearable sober.
The urge arises to scream out to the sky.
But like always he holds it all inside.
Add that stress to his burden.
A burden that chips away at who he is as it hurts him.
To be high is to be free.
Just to escape the burden momentarily.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
The Light
I dream of a future.
A future in which I am the harbringer of light in a world of darkness.
A world yearning for the light to save them.
I am not what they expect.
I am the light of destruction come to tear down the walls of conformity that bind this world.
My light will set fire to the buildings of lies.
I will set fire to this world and bring forth a new age.
I will watch as the world burns, engulfed in my flames of purity.
I am the savior that those in the dark await.
But none expected the world to be saved like this.
I will eradicate the safety that is the darkness.
My light will expose the fraud that exist in this world.
And I will burn that fraud to ashes.
I will demolish the world you know.
And I will enjoy it.
This is the future I dream of.
And it will be reality.
A future in which I am the harbringer of light in a world of darkness.
A world yearning for the light to save them.
I am not what they expect.
I am the light of destruction come to tear down the walls of conformity that bind this world.
My light will set fire to the buildings of lies.
I will set fire to this world and bring forth a new age.
I will watch as the world burns, engulfed in my flames of purity.
I am the savior that those in the dark await.
But none expected the world to be saved like this.
I will eradicate the safety that is the darkness.
My light will expose the fraud that exist in this world.
And I will burn that fraud to ashes.
I will demolish the world you know.
And I will enjoy it.
This is the future I dream of.
And it will be reality.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
The Beast
There is an emptiness in me.
But more. There is a beast.
Waiting to see his greatest desire.
So that he can emerge and taint the innocence that is your beauty.
He is a dragon.
He lusts for you.
He wants to corrupt and destroy your innocence and create a new beauty.
A beauty that revels in the corrupt world that he resides in.
He will make you his queen.
And together you will sculpt the emptiness that is in me into the most beautiful creation.
But I love you for your purity.
Your elegance, your eloquence with words, your intelligence and innocence.
I cannot let him burn away to ashes all that you are to me.
With his help, I can be freed from the emptiness.
But I will not let you lose who are you to complete me.
So I will fight him.
But he will win.
Because I will give in.
And we'll all be happy.
But more. There is a beast.
Waiting to see his greatest desire.
So that he can emerge and taint the innocence that is your beauty.
He is a dragon.
He lusts for you.
He wants to corrupt and destroy your innocence and create a new beauty.
A beauty that revels in the corrupt world that he resides in.
He will make you his queen.
And together you will sculpt the emptiness that is in me into the most beautiful creation.
But I love you for your purity.
Your elegance, your eloquence with words, your intelligence and innocence.
I cannot let him burn away to ashes all that you are to me.
With his help, I can be freed from the emptiness.
But I will not let you lose who are you to complete me.
So I will fight him.
But he will win.
Because I will give in.
And we'll all be happy.
Content
Content
Low lights, loud music, innebriation from a drink.
Light skin, long hair, music and body movements in sync.
Vacant eyes, broken dreams. Dance like you don't care.
Look at me. Dance. Dance like you don't care.
Dance freely, mezmerize me with your aura of content.
Let life happen. Dance like your all alone. Free to move as you please.
Free to mesmerize me with your body. Free to hypnotize me with your eyes.
Eyes content with whatever happens. Eyes tired of caring.
Show your true self to the world but let no one in.
I understand you. Your eyes mirror mine.
Let me enter your world. Fill the vacancy. Destroy the emptiness.
Let me do what I can't seem to let others do to me.
I'm discontent with emptiness but cling to her like she's my best friend.
How are you content? How do you revel in the loneliness?
Teach my heart true freedom. Teach me to be content.
Low lights, loud music, innebriation from a drink.
Light skin, long hair, music and body movements in sync.
Vacant eyes, broken dreams. Dance like you don't care.
Look at me. Dance. Dance like you don't care.
Dance freely, mezmerize me with your aura of content.
Let life happen. Dance like your all alone. Free to move as you please.
Free to mesmerize me with your body. Free to hypnotize me with your eyes.
Eyes content with whatever happens. Eyes tired of caring.
Show your true self to the world but let no one in.
I understand you. Your eyes mirror mine.
Let me enter your world. Fill the vacancy. Destroy the emptiness.
Let me do what I can't seem to let others do to me.
I'm discontent with emptiness but cling to her like she's my best friend.
How are you content? How do you revel in the loneliness?
Teach my heart true freedom. Teach me to be content.
Angel of Death: Death
And night time came.
And she walked forth.
I know who she is but her appearance is different than before.
Skin golden, angel wings. Naked.
First thought: she's the most beautiful creature I've ever seen.
Second thought: her legs are long and sexy, I can't wait to get between.
Love me, lust for me, need me.
Be addicted. Let your soul be afflicted.
Give up your free will, you won't miss it.
Let your body control you.
Give in to your desires.
If you let me into you, I rule your mind's empire.
Let me feel your wetness all around me.
I want to swim in your warm ocean.
I need your pinkness to surround me.
Your so warm, I need this all the time.
Please feel the same, let me make you mind.
And when you do, promise that this is not all a lie.
Fly high into the air, above the clouds, beyond the sky.
Drop me down. Let me fall. Don't let me die.
I trust you.
With my body, mind and soul.
Let me fall mere inches away from the ocean. I don't care.
I know no matter how far I drop, when there's danger you'll be there.
As the ocean closes in on me, after you dropped me from high up in space,
I know I'll be ok, I know your flapping your wings giving chase.
You close the distance between our bodies. You close the distance as I fall into the abyss.
You finally free my mind with your kiss.
You let me fall.
And then you let me die.
And she walked forth.
I know who she is but her appearance is different than before.
Skin golden, angel wings. Naked.
First thought: she's the most beautiful creature I've ever seen.
Second thought: her legs are long and sexy, I can't wait to get between.
Love me, lust for me, need me.
Be addicted. Let your soul be afflicted.
Give up your free will, you won't miss it.
Let your body control you.
Give in to your desires.
If you let me into you, I rule your mind's empire.
Let me feel your wetness all around me.
I want to swim in your warm ocean.
I need your pinkness to surround me.
Your so warm, I need this all the time.
Please feel the same, let me make you mind.
And when you do, promise that this is not all a lie.
Fly high into the air, above the clouds, beyond the sky.
Drop me down. Let me fall. Don't let me die.
I trust you.
With my body, mind and soul.
Let me fall mere inches away from the ocean. I don't care.
I know no matter how far I drop, when there's danger you'll be there.
As the ocean closes in on me, after you dropped me from high up in space,
I know I'll be ok, I know your flapping your wings giving chase.
You close the distance between our bodies. You close the distance as I fall into the abyss.
You finally free my mind with your kiss.
You let me fall.
And then you let me die.
Monday, January 9, 2012
The State of the Mind
The mind. Constantly working. Thinking, controlling movemvents. Performing intricate tasks.
Always under the constant stress of our daily lives. Our loves, our interest, and struggles throughout life weighing it down. It controls every part of our being. It never stops, and only has the momentarily release we give it while we sleep. Does it not need a rest during the day. A time to be free and relax itself from the struggles it endores daily and nightly as our struggles daily cause us to be restless in sleep. How should it be wrong or immoral that we alter our minds state of being and give it a momentary release from life's struggles?
Always under the constant stress of our daily lives. Our loves, our interest, and struggles throughout life weighing it down. It controls every part of our being. It never stops, and only has the momentarily release we give it while we sleep. Does it not need a rest during the day. A time to be free and relax itself from the struggles it endores daily and nightly as our struggles daily cause us to be restless in sleep. How should it be wrong or immoral that we alter our minds state of being and give it a momentary release from life's struggles?
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